Pick the target. Pick the charges. Send it. Two minutes from now it is sitting in their inbox, in writing, from an address of your choosing.
Live demo. Click the tabs to change the style and colour.
Every roast comes with a read receipt, built in and switched on by default. The instant it lands in their inbox and gets opened, your order page turns green and tells you when. No more wondering if it landed — you will know before they say a word.
We do not ask who you are, because we do not want to know. One address goes into this website and it is theirs.
Nothing to sign up for, nothing to log into, no password to forget. Open the composer and start writing.
We never ask for your address. Not to build it, not to preview it, and not at payment either.
It arrives from the sender address you picked. Your name only appears if you decide to type it in yourself.
The only thing we need is where it is going. Up to 3 recipients, and that is genuinely the whole of it.
The trade-off: your access code is shown once and it is the only way back to an order. Lose it and nobody can recover it for you.
No editor. Nothing to design. You are picking from a menu of things they already do.
Type their first name. Every roast you pick gets it dropped in automatically.
Ten seconds6 colours, 7 styles. Tabloid splash, legal summons, itemised bill, certificate, report card, ransom note or clinical diagnosis.
No design skillsPick a headline, an opening line and a sign-off from the written presets, or replace any of them with your own.
Written for youTap what fits from a library of pre-written lines. Or hit Surprise Me and let us choose.
110+ lines readyWrite a long note in your own words, then switch on a verdict score, a group vote, a one-star review, a hazard label or a list of signatures.
6 optional blocksChoose your sender address, add up to 3 recipients, pay, and it lands.
Instant deliveryFront page splash. Enormous headline, numbered and public.
Cold, formal, itemised charges. Reads like it came from a lawyer.
Every offence priced up, line by line, with a total they cannot pay.
An award nobody wanted. Suitable for framing, ideally at their desk.
Graded, subject by subject. Every grade is an F.
Cut-out letters. Looks like it was assembled at 3am, because it was.
A clinical assessment of what exactly is wrong with them.
115 lines across 14 categories of specific, personal grievance, written to land. Tap the ones that fit. Add your own if you want to draw blood.
The whole problem, itemised.
You are stupid. Properly, genuinely stupid, and the worst part is you have no fucking idea.
+ 9 more in this category
Genuinely infuriating.
You leave people on read for four days then open with "heyy" like you have not been a complete prick about it.
+ 8 more in this category
Hours of other people's lives, gone.
"Five minutes", from your bed, every time. That is not lateness. That is you telling everybody their time is worth nothing.
+ 6 more in this category
A danger to actual people.
You park like a prick and you made your peace with that years ago.
+ 6 more in this category
The confidence is the offensive part.
Forty photos of yourself and you post the one where everybody else looks worst. It gets noticed. It always gets noticed.
+ 6 more in this category
A parasite with a bank app.
Your phone rings the second the bill lands. Every single time. It is a reflex now and it is pathetic.
+ 6 more in this category
Everyone is carrying you.
What you get paid is a joke, because you do not do a single fucking thing all day.
+ 8 more in this category
Grim.
One millilitre of juice left in the carton, back in the fridge, like that is a personality.
+ 7 more in this category
Revoke the aux. Permanently.
You should be barred from the aux and every person in this room would testify to it.
+ 6 more in this category
All mouth.
You talk about the gym roughly nine times more than you attend the gym.
+ 6 more in this category
An act of hostility.
You season food like you are being billed per fucking grain.
+ 6 more in this category
The thing you thought you got away with.
You lied to somebody who would have forgiven the truth, and you did it because lying was easier for you.
+ 9 more in this category
Genuinely terrible at it.
You are not a friend. You are somebody who turns up when there is nothing better on.
+ 8 more in this category
The reason people leave.
What you get paid is an absolute joke, because you do not do one single fucking thing.
+ 10 more in this category
The headline, the opening and the sign-off are all written for you. Tap one, or write your own if you have something specific to say.
The line across the top
You are a fucking embarrassment
Nobody wanted to say this to your face
You are stupid and you have no idea
22 written for you in this slot
6 extra blocks you can switch on, including a free-text note in your own words. None of them are needed. All of them make it worse.
Room for a proper paragraph or three, written by you.
A score out of 100 and a bar chart of what you picked.
Make it clear this was not one person's idea.
Rate them publicly, like a bad restaurant.
“Would not recommend. Would not do again.”
A warning sticker listing what they contain.
Add everyone who is behind this. Real names optional.
Friends, siblings and coworkers, put in writing. Most of them are still speaking.
"Sent it to my brother about his parking. He did not speak to me for a week. Worth it."
Mia R.
Verified Roast Master
"We itemised our boss on his last day. People were still quoting it at Christmas."
Daniel K.
Verified Roast Master
"Ninety seconds. My housemate is still trying to work out who set it up."
Marcus T.
Verified Roast Master
"The certificate is brutal. My sister put hers on the fridge out of spite."
Priya S.
Verified Roast Master
"I did not have to think of a single insult. They were all already there and all of them landed."
Jordan B.
Verified Roast Master
"Sent one to the group. Three of them bought one back within the hour."
Kenji N.
Verified Roast Master
"Picked five lines about his cooking. He has not cooked for anyone since."
Hannah W.
Verified Roast Master
"You see exactly what lands in their inbox before you pay. That is what sold it."
Aisha M.
Verified Roast Master
"Choosing the address is the best part. Mine came from everyone.hates.you."
Chloe F.
Verified Roast Master
"I am not a funny person. This made me look vicious. That is the whole review."
Yuki H.
Verified Roast Master
"No signup, no account, no faff. Picked it, previewed it, paid, done."
Natalie B.
Verified Roast Master
"The tabloid one in red is genuinely well made. Almost a shame to use it for this."
Sam O.
Verified Roast Master
"Sent to all three siblings at once. The group chat has not recovered and I do not care."
Leila A.
Verified Roast Master
"My partner said it was the funniest thing anyone has ever done to them."
Connor M.
Verified Roast Master
"Added two of my own lines about an inside joke. That was the bit that actually hurt."
Gabriela L.
Verified Roast Master
"Surprise Me picked harder lines than I would have dared. Slightly insulting, honestly."
Amara J.
Verified Roast Master
"Third time using it. It is my go-to birthday move now."
Lucas V.
Verified Roast Master
"The receipt with the running total is the single funniest thing I have seen all year."
Camila R.
Verified Roast Master
"No ads, no upsells, no account. Just the email. Thank you."
Adrian C.
Verified Roast Master
"Sent it to my brother about his parking. He did not speak to me for a week. Worth it."
Mia R.
Verified Roast Master
"We itemised our boss on his last day. People were still quoting it at Christmas."
Daniel K.
Verified Roast Master
"Ninety seconds. My housemate is still trying to work out who set it up."
Marcus T.
Verified Roast Master
"The certificate is brutal. My sister put hers on the fridge out of spite."
Priya S.
Verified Roast Master
"I did not have to think of a single insult. They were all already there and all of them landed."
Jordan B.
Verified Roast Master
"Sent one to the group. Three of them bought one back within the hour."
Kenji N.
Verified Roast Master
"Picked five lines about his cooking. He has not cooked for anyone since."
Hannah W.
Verified Roast Master
"You see exactly what lands in their inbox before you pay. That is what sold it."
Aisha M.
Verified Roast Master
"Choosing the address is the best part. Mine came from everyone.hates.you."
Chloe F.
Verified Roast Master
"I am not a funny person. This made me look vicious. That is the whole review."
Yuki H.
Verified Roast Master
"No signup, no account, no faff. Picked it, previewed it, paid, done."
Natalie B.
Verified Roast Master
"The tabloid one in red is genuinely well made. Almost a shame to use it for this."
Sam O.
Verified Roast Master
"Sent to all three siblings at once. The group chat has not recovered and I do not care."
Leila A.
Verified Roast Master
"My partner said it was the funniest thing anyone has ever done to them."
Connor M.
Verified Roast Master
"Added two of my own lines about an inside joke. That was the bit that actually hurt."
Gabriela L.
Verified Roast Master
"Surprise Me picked harder lines than I would have dared. Slightly insulting, honestly."
Amara J.
Verified Roast Master
"Third time using it. It is my go-to birthday move now."
Lucas V.
Verified Roast Master
"The receipt with the running total is the single funniest thing I have seen all year."
Camila R.
Verified Roast Master
"No ads, no upsells, no account. Just the email. Thank you."
Adrian C.
Verified Roast Master
Building it and previewing it costs nothing. You only pay to pull the trigger.
Per send · No subscription
We cap every address at 2 emails for life and put a one-click opt-out in every message. This is a joke for people who will laugh, not a way to bother strangers.
The things people want to know first.
Not from us. The email comes from the sender address you pick, and your own address is never shown to them or attached to the message. If you want the credit you have to take it yourself.
There are no accounts here, so after paying you get a nine-character code. It is the only way back into your order — to spend any remaining sends or check delivery. It is shown once, so write it down. Enter it at /access whenever you come back.
No, and you are never asked for one. The whole composer runs in your browser and you can preview the finished email in full without signing up. At payment you enter card details and nothing else — no address of yours, here or there. The only email address this site needs is the one you are sending to.
Yes, and it is the real thing. The live preview is produced by the same renderer that builds the delivered email, so what you see is exactly what lands in their inbox. Nothing is sent until payment goes through.
Up to 3 recipients on one order. Every address is also capped at 2 emails for life across the whole service, which is what keeps this a joke between people who know each other rather than a way to pester somebody.
Every email carries a one-click opt-out. Once an address opts out we will not deliver to it again, from anyone. That is checked before every single send.
Rude. Every line attacks behaviour, taste or choices — being late, bad driving, worse music. Nothing targets race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability or anything somebody cannot change, and there is nothing sexual and no threats.
7 email styles, 6 colour themes, 115 written lines across 14 categories, your own custom lines, 6 optional extra blocks, and the address it arrives from. One of those blocks is free text, so you can write as many paragraphs of your own as you like.
"Thousands have already pressed send. It took them two minutes."